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Introvert-Extrovert Couple

Introverts and extroverts often find themselves attracted to each other, drawn by the differences that the other person brings into their lives. However, as any couple therapist knows, these differences can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, miscommunications, and conflicts.

This blog delves into the dynamics of introvert-extrovert couples and explores how therapy can help them not only survive but thrive in their relationships.

Understanding Introvert and Extrovert Personalities

Before we dive into how introvert and extrovert couples can coexist harmoniously, let’s clarify what these terms mean. These personality types are not black and white; instead, they represent a spectrum. Here’s a brief overview:

  • Introverts: Introverts tend to recharge by spending time alone or in quiet, low-stimulation environments. They often enjoy solitary activities, introspection, and one-on-one conversations. Introverts may be more reserved and prefer smaller gatherings.
  • Extroverts: Extroverts, on the other hand, gain energy from social interactions and vibrant environments. They thrive in group settings, seek external stimulation, and are often outgoing, talkative, and expressive.

Now, you might wonder how these contrasting personalities can create a successful partnership. Well, it’s not only possible but can also lead to a richer, more balanced relationship.

The Yin and Yang of Introvert-Extrovert Relationships

There’s a popular psychological theory, known as the “Big Five” or the Five Factor Model, that includes personality traits like extraversion and introversion. It suggests that these traits fall on a continuum rather than fitting neatly into one category or the other. In fact, many introverts and extroverts fall somewhere in between, which can be a blessing for couples.

Here’s why:

  1. Balance of Energy: Introverts can provide a sense of calm and introspection to extroverts, who often appreciate moments of solitude to recharge. On the flip side, extroverts can introduce excitement and variety into the lives of introverts, encouraging them to step out of their comfort zones.
  2. Complementary Social Skills: Extroverts often excel in social situations, making them effective at networking, maintaining friendships, and navigating social settings. Introverts, meanwhile, may possess strong listening skills, fostering deeper connections in one-on-one relationships.
  3. Conflict Resolution: Introvert-extrovert couples have the potential to bring diverse problem-solving techniques to the table, enhancing their capacity to find mutually satisfying solutions to disagreements.

Tips for Introvert-Extrovert Relationship Success

Balancing these contrasting personalities is a journey that requires open communication, empathy, and compromise. Here are some tips to manage an introvert-extrovert relationship successfully:

  • Communication is Key: Effective communication is vital in any relationship, but it’s especially important for introvert-extrovert couples. Both partners should openly express their needs, preferences, and expectations. Recognise that your partner’s differences are not shortcomings but rather unique attributes that can enhance the relationship.
  • Respect Individual Boundaries: Understand your partner’s need for alone time or social interaction and respect their boundaries. Introverts may require occasional solitude, while extroverts might need frequent social interactions. This is perfectly fine – just make sure you both get what you need.
  • Design a Balanced Routine: Find a daily routine that accommodates both introverted and extroverted tendencies. This might involve scheduling “me time” for introverts and social activities for extroverts while also sharing quality time as a couple.
  • Set Mutual Goals: Clarify your relationship goals and values together. Establish shared aspirations that align with both partners’ personalities, such as planning regular date nights and compromise on social engagements.
  • Participate in Joint Activities: Engaging in activities that you both enjoy is essential for bonding. Participate in hobbies or interests that cater to both introvert and extrovert inclinations. This fosters shared experiences and creates a deeper connection.
  • Seek Professional Guidance: Couples Therapy Melbourne can be a valuable resource for introvert-extrovert couples. A therapist can help identify patterns of communication, provide tools to manage conflicts, and support the relationship’s growth.
  • Celebrate Differences: Instead of seeing your partner’s traits as opposing yours, appreciate and celebrate their uniqueness. Recognise that introverts and extroverts each bring valuable qualities to the relationship.
  • Plan Together: Both partners should take an active role in planning activities and events. Introverts can suggest quieter, intimate dates, while extroverts can plan social outings. This promotes compromise and ensures that both individuals have a say in the relationship’s direction.

Introvert-extrovert couples can offer one another unique perspectives and experiences. Their differences can be a source of strength, not weakness, in their relationships. By understanding each other’s needs and embracing these distinctions, couples can not only coexist but also thrive together, creating a dynamic and fulfilling partnership. 

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Therapy Credentials and Professional Memberships

  • Graduate Diploma Family and Relationship Therapy, Williams Street Centre for Family Therapy, Perth
  • Graduate Certificate of Family Therapy, The Bouverie Centre and La Trobe University, Melbourne
  • Masters Social Work, RMIT University, Melbourne
  • Postgraduate Diploma of Arts (Editing and Communications), University of Melbourne
  • Bachelor of Arts (English Literature, French, Political Science), University of Western Australia, Perth
  • Membership of the Australian Association of Social Workers (AASW)
  • Professional Membership of the Australian Association of Family Therapy (AAFT)

Finn Nugent


As a therapist Finn is person-centred and emotion-focused, informed by an awareness of family-systems theories, attachment theory, mindfulness, polyvagal theory and the nervous system, trauma, Internal Family Systems therapy, social justice and intersectionality.

Finn enjoys working with couples at all stages in their relationship, including those navigating communication problems, family of origin issues, sexual issues, betrayals, grief, polyamorous situations, parenting issues and blended families. She is able to work with couples seeking to separate well or to navigate co-parenting after separation. She is an LGBTQIA+ ally.

As a therapist working with a family group, Finn seeks to make space for everyone’s perspective and to create the conditions that enable you to hear each other in ways that can be difficult outside the therapy room. The focus is on the qualities and dynamics of the relationships.

As a Family Therapy trained practitioner Finn considers your relationships and your relational context when working with you as an individual. She works with people seeking personal growth and change, on issues including depression and anxiety, stress, identity, sexuality, relationship problems, navigating life-stage changes, finding purpose, grief and loss.

Finn’s approach is informed by an awareness of our physicality and our spirituality and may draw upon elements of breathwork, visualisation and symbology. Finn believes that personal change is a multifaceted process and involves the dynamic interplay of the different dimensions of our selves.

Finn is a masters-qualified Social Worker with additional qualifications in Family and Relationship Therapy. Over the last 8 years she has worked with individuals, couples and families from all walks of life as a practitioner in the corporate and private sectors and in non-government organisations across Australia.

Naeem Rana


Naeem is a registered counsellor; his qualifications include a Master of Counselling and Graduate Diploma in Psychology. 

Naeem has lived in Melbourne for the past 22 years. Being a counsellor, he thoroughly enjoys learning about people. He believes that there is something special that we hold within ourselves and that’s what makes us human. This special part of us is the source of our positive development. Naeem sees his work as a journey of growth; he learns from the people he works with and engages in ongoing professional development. 

In addition to his academic achievements, Naeem has specialised training in trauma-informed practice, suicide prevention, self-harm, and couple’s counselling. His way of working is very holistic and person-centred. He supports clients in focusing and accessing core emotions to identify and process them. His work with clients helps them develop deeper meanings of their thought processes. 

Naeem is empathic, he offers acceptance without judgments, and really believes in people and their capabilities.  He finds it fulfilling when he can witness his clients’ growth.  He has help clients deepen relationship, repair relationships and has also helped some couples through the challenges of separation.

Therapy Credentials and Professional Memberships

  • B.A. Hons, La Trobe University
  • Bachelor of Social Work, Melbourne University.
  • Post Grad Dip Family Therapy, Bouverie Centre, La Trobe University
  • Masters of Family Therapy (couple therapy), La Trobe University.
  • A.A.S.W. Australian Association of Social Work
  • A.A.F.T. Australian Association of Family Therapy

Emily McDonald


Emily McDonald is a Family and Couple Therapist, (Clinical Social Worker) with over 25 years’ experience working across diverse sectors such as mental health, specialist child and family relationship services, family law settings and private practice.

Emily’s practice combines experience and knowledge with care and compassion. Emily provides a strong client centred approach, working collaboratively with couples to identify priorities, support wellbeing and work towards positive change. Emily believes it is important that couples gain hope, relief and a way forward right from the first session.

In her work with couples, Emily uses a flexible approach designed to attune to a couples’ unique needs. Emily offers valuable tools to reduce stress and build communication confidence and competence. Emily also offers the opportunity to connect current relationship patterns with past life experiences, assisting clients to gain new perspectives, greater insight and empathy for themselves and each other.

Emily assists a wide variety of individuals and couples that span the life cycle, from diverse cultural backgrounds and couples from LGBTIQ+ communities.

Emily has extensive experience working with individuals and couples who may be struggling with anxiety, depression, anger, past or current trauma and abuse, grief and loss, relationships difficulties across the life cycle, parenting struggles, separation and divorce and other life transitions. Emily also offers stepfamily formation and transition work; recovery from experiences of family violence/ trauma and assistance to take responsibility for harmful behaviours in relationships.

Emily has a commitment to gain regular feedback from her clients, in order to create a safe and effective therapeutic relationship. Emily uses this feedback to inform her work and is able to employ a combination of evidenced based relationship therapies, such as Emotion Focused Couples Therapy, Gottman and interpersonal neurobiological methods. Emily is also able to employ Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), systemic and narrative therapies.

Emily is an experienced senior manager, trainer and clinical supervisor and has lectured in child, parent and family therapy at Mindful, Centre for Training and Research in Developmental Health, Melbourne University and La Trobe University. 

Therapy Credentials and Professional Memberships

  • Bachelor of Science (Psychology Major), Monash University; Melbourne
  • Postgraduate Diploma in Psychology, Bond University; Gold Coast
  • Advanced Postgraduate Diploma in Psychology, Monash University; Melbourne
  • Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy, Cairnmillar Institute; Melbourne
  • Certificate IV in Training and Assessment, MWT; Melbourne
  • Member of Australian Psychological Society

Francesco Cataldo


Francesco was born and raised in Italy, where he trained to become a psychotherapist. After his degree in Clinical Psychology, he completed a post graduate degree in Family Psychotherapy. He has more than 10 years of practice in working with clients experiencing a variety of mental and relational health issues.

Francesco supports his clients by empathising and creating a warm and safe environment with a non-judgemental approach. He helps clients gain insight into their relationship and emotional communication patterns, and in working around all the hidden mechanisms which prevent clients from living a more fulfilled life. He fosters his clients’ necessities and goals, tailoring his method to their needs.

Francesco is aware of the importance of healthy communication and the role emotions play in relationships. Without effective communication tools and the ability to clearly express emotions, couples and families often face a vast array of difficulties. Francesco works with couples in the areas of building trust, navigating divorce, couple and family reunification, same-sex relationship difficulties, infidelity, sexual disorders and violence. He also conducts individual sessions in the following areas: abuse, eating disorders, gender identity stress, anxiety, depression, bullying, drug and alcohol addiction, panic attacks, grief, loss and traumas.

Francesco moved to Australia few years ago to pursue a PhD in Telehealth/Digital Health at the University of Melbourne. He is currently researching the impact of technology on Videoconferencing Psychotherapy. He has been involved in academia for more than 10 years publishing also several works.

He loves to diversify his interests in a variety of mental health issues and relationship conditions in order to support his clients in every stage of their lives. Francesco has gained extensive experience in public and private sectors and helps his clients to recover from different mental and relationship issues by harmonising theoretical and clinical understanding.

Francesco supports couples facing a range of emotional and relationship issues such as communication breakdowns, sexual disorders, loss of trust, parenting styles and extended family issues.

Francesco has been intensively trained to treat individuals, couples and families. He has had the opportunity to attend The Family and Relationship Therapy Centre which is led by some of the European pioneers of the Systemic Family approach. He stays up-to-date with the ongoing European therapy methodologies, bringing science and new models to his practice.

Furthermore, Francesco has also completed a post graduate degree in Clinical Sexology.  This allows him to competently work with individuals and couples through a wide range of sexual issues.

Francesco can also deliver therapy sessions in Italian language (Francesco conduce terapie anche in lingua Italiana)

Therapy Credentials and Professional Memberships

  • Bachelor of Social Work, University of Melbourne
  • Diploma in Education, University of Gdansk, Poland
  • Masters in Economics, University of Gdansk, Poland
  • Fully registered with The Australian Association of Social Workers (AASW)
  • Fully registered as an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker, (AASW 443222)

Marlena Ziety

Therapist, Accredited Mental Health Worker

Marlena has a warm, empathic, and non-judgmental therapy approach, which she uses to create a safe and supportive space for you heal your relationship.

She feels honoured when her clients share their sensitive and vulnerable parts of themselves as they work towards healing their relationships.

With her authentic, curious, and gentle challenging style, Marlena encourages healing, relationship repair, and growth.

Marlena finds great pleasure in working with couples. Her personal and professional journey of healing and growth has shown her how essential healthy relationships are to happiness and wellbeing.

She believes that we all get a bit stacked at times and require support. Marlena recognises that relationships are complex and can bring both joy and hurt; and that it is through relationships that we heal, grow, and live satisfying lives.

With over 20 years of experience working with individuals, couples, and families, Marlena has the expertise to help you heal.

She is trained in and works with a range of evidence-based therapeutic modalities including Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT), Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT), Mindfulness-based techniques, Motivational Interviewing (MI), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

Choosing approaches uniquely suited to you and your concerns, Marlena will help you solve your problems whether you are an individual or a couple. She uses whichever techniques are most likely to bring you a more rewarding relationship and a happier life.

In addition to helping individuals and couples resolve relationship issues, Marlena has worked intensively with issues of trauma; depression; anxiety; various addictive behaviours, including problematic gambling and eating disorders, grief and loss, mental health, abuse, self-esteem, stigma, and parenting difficulties.

Marlena is bilingual and provides counselling in both English and Polish. She is also a registered Medicare Provider.

Therapy Credentials and Professional Memberships

  • BA (Hons), Australian National University; Literature
  • MA, University of Cologne; Literature
  • Postgrad. Dip. Appl. Psych, Monash University
  • M-Psych (Counselling), Monash University
  • M-Crim (Forensic Psychology), University of Melbourne
  • Member of the Australian Psychological Society, Endorsed Counselling Psychologist

Catherine Lally

Counselling Psychologist/Director

After a long and wonderfully rewarding career as a counselling psychologist and relationship therapist, Catherine is now enjoying retirement in Hobart.

Although she is not working directly with clients anymore, she continues to collaborate with Emma in running a practice that provides high quality therapy at a reasonable cost.

Catherine still treasures being part of the amazing team that makes up CTM, and she continues to support team members through peer-supervision. 

Learning about Internal Family Systems therapy, IFS, has been the highlight in the later stages of Catherine’s career.  Catherine has completed several courses helping her become an Internal Family Systems (IFS) informed therapist, including Stepping Stones and Advanced Training with Derek Scott, and Applied Internal Family Systems Therapy (Adler Graduate Professional School) and Intimacy from the Inside Out (Liz Phillips).

Therapy Credentials and Professional Memberships

  • Bachelor of Science (Psychology Major), Monash University; Melbourne
  • Postgraduate Diploma in Psychology, Bond University; Gold Coast
  • Advanced Postgraduate Diploma in Psychology, Monash University; Melbourne
  • Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy, Cairnmillar Institute; Melbourne
  • Certificate IV in Training and Assessment, MWT; Melbourne
  • Member of Australian Psychological Society

Emma Cholakians


Emma is a registered Psychologist in Melbourne with a strong interest in helping individuals and couples flourish and have more rewarding relationships.

With her passion for working with couples, Emma helps you understand each other better, recognise and enhance your strengths, resolve conflict, break free of old patterns, and communicate more effectively.

Emma uses a client-centered approach, which means her clients’ needs, desires, and goals are of utmost importance. Her counselling work focuses on providing her clients with nurturance, education, collaboration, and research-based counselling methods.

Growing up between Middle Eastern and European cultures has shown Emma the influence culture has on relationship dynamics. The family unit has such a strong influence on the connection, happiness, and development of its members.

Being the parent of a 6 year old has taught Emma the importance of continuing to foster a close and loving connection with her partner despite the distractions a young child can bring into a relationship.

Emma has experience in private, not for profit, and public sectors, providing both short and long-term treatment for a range of relationship and mental health problems.

Emma has worked with various types of couples helping to foster more desirable and satisfying relationships. Couples have included same and opposite-sex couples, young couples, couples who are pregnant, couples in business, etc.

In couples therapy, Emma has helped her clients with secrets that have caused damage, including secrets such as infidelity (including cybersex). She also has experience with couples stuck in conflict; those with addiction issues; couples stressed by life transitions, financial issues, parenting conflicts, lifestyle differences; and those with conflicts in the extended family.

Emma is trained in several therapies that have been shown to help couples improve their relationships. These include the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, Schema Therapy for Couples, and Relationship Therapy Methodologies developed by the Hart Centre.

All of these couples therapy methods help you become more aware of your problems, reduce your reactions to one another, and help you resolve differences. The goal is to help you connect more deeply with one another so you can have a more rewarding and lasting relationship.

Emma is bilingual (English and Armenian).